Children See, Children Do: The Psychology Behind Behavior Modelling

Children don’t do what you tell them to do — they do what they see you doing.

To further prove this statement, I have a highly regarded Canadian American psychologist on my side: Albert Bandura, with his theory on observational cues.

Let me help you understand this through a story.

More than 60 years ago, Bandura gathered 72 children, aged 3–6, and divided them into three groups:

1. Aggressive Model

2. Non-Aggressive Model

3. Control Group

All the children were shown a brief interaction between an adult and a large inflatable clown doll called the Bobo doll — hence the name of the experiment: “The Bobo Doll Experiment.”

• Children in Group 1 (Aggressive Model) watched the adult kicking, hitting, and shouting at the doll.

• Children in Group 2 (Non-Aggressive Model) observed the adult quietly playing with other toys while ignoring the Bobo doll.

• Children in Group 3 (Control Group) were not shown any interaction at all.

Afterwards, all the children were taken to a playroom filled with different toys, including a Bobo doll, and were left there for 20 minutes under observation.

The findings strongly reaffirmed the idea of learning through observational cues — proving that children don’t simply do what you tell them to do; they imitate what they see you doing.

Children from Group 1 were significantly more likely to imitate the aggressive behavior they had observed, both verbally and physically, whereas children from Groups 2 and 3 displayed far less aggression in comparison.

These key findings served as strong evidence for Bandura’s theory of observational learning. According to him, four core processes influence how children learn new behavior:

The Four Core Processes of Observational Learning (Bandura)

1. Attention

   For children to learn a new behavior, it is essential that they notice the model’s actions.

   Example: A child observes their older sister cleaning the table after finishing her meal.

2. Retention

   After observing the behavior, the child must be able to retain or remember what they saw.

   Suggested strategies: Open-ended questions, prompts, or reflective discussions.

   Example: A parent asks, “What did you notice your sister doing after dinner?”

3. Production

   Even if the child remembers the observed behaviour, they may not be able to perform it unless they are physically or mentally capable.

   Example: A two-year-old may see their sibling cleaning the table but cannot reach the tabletop themselves to replicate the action.

4. Motivation

   A child is more likely to replicate a behaviour if they see a reason to do so — usually in the form of rewards or recognition.

   Example: When parents praise the older sibling for cleaning the table, the younger child may feel encouraged to imitate the behaviour in hopes of receiving similar praise.

Bandura’s observational cues are a central part of his well-known Social Cognitive Theory, which explains how a child’s behaviour is shaped by the interaction between three key elements:

• Personal factors (cognition and beliefs),

• Behavior, and

• Environment.

Together, these elements demonstrate that learning is not passive — it is active, socially influenced, and deeply observational.